I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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