My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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