make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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