Can Purell be used as lube?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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