can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
