I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
