I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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