You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
