i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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