Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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