I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
