Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
