I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
