Do vagina's smell?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
