just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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