singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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