are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
