is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
