Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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