I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
