We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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