When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So many bounce houses so little time
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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