Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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