I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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