I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
