I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
