I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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