he thought i was a dude.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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