By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
