were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
