): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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