Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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