its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
