I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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