the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
