She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
