Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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