that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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