i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
two words...techno handjob
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
