is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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