thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
