walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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