i love accidental penises.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
