Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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