Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
