you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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