Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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