Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
