you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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