it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
