She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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