im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize