im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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