Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
