They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
