Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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