she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I need to calm my uterus...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
