You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
