yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
