so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
