Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
