chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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