i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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